A Fair Cop -

“Constable Perkins was a rather overweight, jovial, old fashioned cop. He was well liked by all and he would turn a blind eye to many of the lesser ‘goings-on’ that occurred on the goldfields.

One day he was assigned to help raid a two-up ring in the bush. Like a dutiful policeman, he set off in a determined fashion after a gentleman who looked like he had escaped from a Norm commercial. Jim, the player, puffed his way through the bush for about a kilometre. Constable Perkins trundled through the scrub about 30 metres behind him. Finally, Jim had had enough. He collapsed under a tree as if he had just completed a marathon, and when his pursuer arrived he said, ‘Bugger this running through the scrub, I couldn’t care if I do get caught, I’m exhausted.’

Constable Perkins fell in a heap beside him, puffing and heaving and he said, ‘Yeah, I’m buggered too. Awful job this chasing blokes through the scrub. All right for the young cops. Do you feel like a smoke?’

The two sat down in gentle repose, had a few smokes and chatted about sport and the weather for about ten minutes.

Then Perkins said, ‘Well, looks like the coast is clear. Bugger off Jim. I’d better be getting back. Guess I’d better make it look as if I’ve been running my guts out.’ Perkins was very well liked by gamblers on the goldfields.

Heads and Tails by Danny Sheehan.

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